An Chihwan recalls the night before Kim Kwang-seok's death: 'The next morning I saw him in the mortuary'

40 years in, and one night he can't forget

Singer An Chihwan sat down with MBN's Kim Joo-ha's Day and Night on October 17 to mark his 40th debut anniversary. The conversation turned quickly to Kim Kwang-seok, who died in 1995.

The two first crossed paths in Norae-reul Chatneun Saramdeul (People Looking for Songs), a folk collective where An handled music direction. "We spent time together before either of us became famous," he said. "Kwang-seok hyung's special quality captivated the public's heart."

That bond had real stakes. When An was preparing to go solo, he asked Kim to record a few songs on a demo tape and take them to a record company to secure an advance payment. "We were poor back then," he said. "Thanks to Kwang-seok hyung, I was able to release a solo album."

The evening that still weighs on him

Kim Kwang-seok died at dawn on January 6, 1995, at his home. He was 32. Police concluded he had taken his own life, though questions about the cause lingered afterward.

An Chihwan had plans to see him that evening. He had an office nearby and they were going to meet to talk about albums. His schedule wrapped early. He was tired. He told Kim he was heading home instead.

"The next day at dawn, I saw him in the mortuary."

He described Kim as someone he genuinely admired—and envied. "He had deep affection for people. He tried to see the world with warm eyes. I always felt like I had to fight, but hyung had composure."

Regret that hasn't faded

What An keeps circling back to is the period when Kim was at his peak. "When Kwang-seok hyung was enjoying his fame, he had to bear responsibility, loneliness, and jealousy," he said. "I wished someone would comfort him more and soothe his loneliness beside him. I couldn't do that either—I got busy."

"Everyone wonders what it would have been like back then. It's very regrettable, painful, apologetic, and sad. There are many emotions."

Thirty years on, and he's still counting them.